Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
