You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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