how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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