I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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