hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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