Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
