You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
