And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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