Whod you bang
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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