I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
this just has baby written all over it
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Randomize
