found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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