where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dear god my vagina.
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