New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
