dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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