I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
