Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
