This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
no you cant smoke seaweed
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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