I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
