There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Im part way to drunk.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
