does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
