My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
