Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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