I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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