what day is it and did you see me today?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
