"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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