Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
