woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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