you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
