That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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