just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
