as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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