Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
