The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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