every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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