biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
