Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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