last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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