You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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