I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
