The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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