Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
