Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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