You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
