Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So here I am, sexting at work.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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