my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
how drunk are you?
Several
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
