Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
