I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
