You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize