He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
