she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
