my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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