I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
