Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
